From Denmark to Norway...

We have been driving all night. We crossed Denmark and we made three stops only. One of them was near Hamburg Germany. I was impressed by the German countryside, and not so much with the Danish, some how the latter is typical to ones expectations of a rural area. At one of the stops my friend had a Danish hot chocolate and based upon that, I would advise everyone to stick to Swiss chocolate :)

It has been raining for sometime now, but the sun is coming out from time to time to greet the one coming from the east. We have waited to board the ferry to Norway for a while but one can never be bored when the water meets the greenery, in addition for someone who was -twice - on a bus for three days and three nights, I do not think that is an issue. The weather is cold which I like the most. The lady giving us the boarding pass to the ferry gave us sickness pills because of the weather. I suppose that was a nice gesture, judging by the expressions made by my company.

We are on the ferry now we went to have a look from the back of the ferry and in less than 15 Min the land was gone, right now there is nothing around us but the raging Northern Sea and the sweet smell coming from the unknown.

Germany...

I arrived at Dusseldorf an hour late because my flight was delayed for some reason. We recognized each other easily with no hesitations. My friend and her family are too good to me. They are very nice people. In the east, we stereotype all Europeans as just being cold… I can say now that this is not true. All the people whom I met up to this moment are so friendly even those who cannot speak a single English word.

We were babysitting my friend’s two years old niece today; she is so cute I cannot get enough of her although we cannot understand each other due to the language barriers. We toured around a bit and today we took a walk up hill, it was amazing. Everything here is just so green. It rained yesterday and now it is raining again. I really love that, it has been a while since I felt the rain on my skin.

My friend’s father went to have a hair cut today and the lady there knew that I was visiting… that made me realize how small this place really is and that barbers are the same everywhere :o)

We are heading to Norway tonight and everyone is excited about that, they say Norway is a heaven… and I thought I have seen it all… if Norway is heaven then what is this place right here???

Dubai Airport... connecting to Dusseldorf

I took a connecting flight to Dusseldorf, so now I have 2 hours layoff at Dubai. I like this airport its some how a friendly one although it is huge and you can walk here for 20 minutes before reach the passport control.

The airport has a free wireless internet connection and next to the first class lounge, the signal is great :O)

Now it is almost 1: 10 Dubai time and I will go around for a walk.

Of friends, Life Journeys and Social Odysseys…

My social life – as one can expect - has been an intricate odyssey with multiple streamlines that have caused me to meet some of the finest people on the plant, and for that, I am grateful.

One of the best chapters of this odyssey is the one involving my oldest friend of all; she is a German whom I haven’t met in person ever in my life. We started writing each other 12 years ago, specifically in January 1996, since then we have been sharing the good and bad in life through all means of communications but never face to face.

Even my best friends, whom I shared my actual daily life with, have not been around since that long.

I am meeting her this September… we planed to meet in Germany and then go on a road trip up to Denmark, cross it from South to North, and from Hirtshals catch a ferry to Norway, spend sometime there in Kristiansand and then back to Germany again.

This plan was hers and I don’t think I could have thought of any better plan for a “first” meet with an “old” friend.

There is something intriguing about road trips; they are like cruising life at 120 KM per hour. The cars that pass you by, the faces you only see glimpses of and the obstructions you meet are a detailed mystical account of your lifetime.

How many people have you failed to get to know better and when you realized it, they were already miles away? How many turns have you wished you had taken? …and how many you wished you had missed? How many red signs you – still – wish you stopped at?

No matter how your road turns out to be it is always the people riding with you who matters, family, friends, soul mates or loved ones; those are the ingredients of your existence and those are the real journey of your life.

I am leaving next Monday to add another episode to this part of my journey that has started 12 years ago. I’ll be trying to blog this episode live.

Luring the nights away…

“So after all those one night stands

You've ended up with heart in hand

A child alone

On your own

Retreating

Regretful for the things you're not

And all the things you haven't got

Without a home

A heart of stone

Lies bleeding

And for all the roads you followed

And for all you did not find

And for all the things you had to leave behind”

Believe - Savatage

Suddenly I had this realization of how lonely I have become through the past year… it’s not the physical loneliness that matters it’s the loneliness of the soul that can degrade all your accomplishments and inveigle you away from your victories. I have been aware of this issue and no matter how many friends I make and how many relationships I go through deep down my heart I know that I am just luring the nights away.

I have made lots of friends through all the social functions I’ve attended and they are great people, they are the warm embracing cuddle that keeps my soul from bleeding out and my heart from stone freezing but yet my heart and soul are yearning to be patched up they are looking forward to the person who will come to claim them back and take them home. My mind however is a different case my mind is the thing that pumped all the soothing chemicals into my blood stream when it all went down, it’s the only thing that stood by me when my heart and soul gave in to depression and anxiety. And now it is claiming back the debt it is urging me not to go this way again.

I wonder how this battle is going to end.

A year has gone…

Today I commemorate the beginning of my expat days… in that very day last year I started a journey I don’t know when it will end or even if it will ever end at all.

I started this journey with hopes, ambitions, dreams and a vision of a definite tomorrow. Little did I know that this journey will be the premature start of a new life in which I will lose a dream or…… two, have no sight of my vision and look down on my – used to be – ambitions.

Looking back at the person I used to be is like looking at a 10 years old photo of yourself… you don’t really realize how much you changed until you open the photo album.

I have come a long way and there is no looking back now… I have locked up all my memories in the locker of time hoping that oblivion will be so kind to make me forget the combination. I guess I am not there yet.

Because not everything in life comes with a warranty…

It is despicable how some people think they possess the powers to set anything right. Looking back at my own experience, I realize that some how I am to blame. I might actually have given the impression that I can forgive anything this person does, next thing I know she takes me for granted and I start running the viscous circles of being used and loving it. Some how, for what I thought are all the right reasons, I gave her a status in my life that she proved not to be worthy of.

And even after her stronghold, which was my own heart, crumpled after seven years of devotion, and despite of the scars that were left by the brutal demolition of everything that one day meant something, I didn’t sever the ties completely; all I said is that I need time after which we will resume our relationship as friends. She is the one who severed the ties and took measures towards it. And I had to live with that just like I had to live with her choices and unfairness and endure them no matter how painful and iniquitous they were.

Weeks ago, I was contacted by a common friend to ask whether she can give my number to her or not. She said that she missed the friends we used to be. I thought to myself why not? It has been almost a year and perhaps it is just about time. I was going to be deceived again under the false pretences of friendship but still I asked for some time before I can give my answer and then things just started to unveil, I’ve always known that things went bad for a reason, I’ve been looking for answers since then, little did I know that the reason was her infidelity...and that the answers will come knocking on my door!!!

She vended me cheap on all levels, I offered earnestness and she reciprocated with treachery, I offered fidelity and she reciprocated with betrayal and disloyalty, I offered friendship and she responded by back stabbing, she massacred my soul and watched my dying heart lose life in excruciating pain while I swept my own blood down the drains.

And now she wants to talk!!!

I am sorry but …

Not everything in life comes with a warranty.

____________________________________________________

UPDATE

When her endeavor to re-communicate failed, she went around my friends making all kind of claims that I used her!!! Who, the hell, used who? Who exploited the other? Who traded in his partner’s life and well being for a cheap lust?
“Oh god I call upon thee, I am defeated, prejudiced and betrayed OH, GOD, AVENGE ME”