CLOSURE

“My life closed twice before its close;

It yet remains to see

If Immortality unveil

A third event to me,

So huge, so hopeless to conceive,

As these that twice befell.

Parting is all we know of heaven,

And all we need of hell.”

- Emily Dickinson -

I need a closure after I’ve taken the hardest blow of my life, the ultimate betrayal, the life changing experience that can only make you worse…

For seven years I’ve devoted myself to her. I have made sacrifices that changed the path of my life; I endured the unbearable. But I loved her… there was nothing I wouldn’t do at that time just to put a smile on her face.

I encouraged her to travel and realize her dream. Before she traveled I told her that if she ever changed her mind after achieving what she wants all what she has to do is to treat me with courtesy. And she took my hands and told me that “this will never happen…”

There is nothing I can say to tell how much she meant to me… but that got to stop… she played me alright… she is not a bad person but she is the worst I’ve met, and that’s not in terms of quality but in terms of the extent of damage that she has caused me… I stopped believing in so many things at once that I am surprised that my whole belief system didn’t just shut down.

I believe that every human relationship you handle takes a part of your mind, heart and soul; whether it is good or bad, that’s not relevant, and now after seven years of her taking a little above 99.9 % of all three … its time that I get sober and handle my own self for a change… I’ll cherish, flourish, and appreciate “me”…

That’s my closure… NO MORE US… just "ME" and that’s how it’s going be for a very long time to come… and I pity her for that… I pity her for what she chose to miss out on…

May be I am just not good enough for her because – simply – I am too good to be hers…